Privacy policy

And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Why yes! Thanks for noticing. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Tell her she looks thin. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… I meant 'physically'. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? You guys realize you live in a sewer, right? Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.

Why not indeed! That's right, baby. I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! Ooh, name it after me! Kids have names?

Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. We'll need to have a look inside you with this camera. It's a T. It goes "tuh".

Yes! In your face, Gandhi! Oh God, what have I done? Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." Shut up and take my money! WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! A true inspiration for the children.

Why yes! Thanks for noticing. Say it in Russian! In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms. And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. You wouldn't. Ask anyway! I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'!

Also Zoidberg. I was all of history's great robot actors - Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny! Who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere?

Can I use the gun? Can I use the gun? Noooooo! Fetal stemcells, aren't those controversial?

Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Why, those are the Grunka-Lunkas! They work here in the Slurm factory. Oh right. I forgot about the battle. I never loved you. Why did you bring us here? We don't have a brig.

My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards. We don't have a brig. Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Ask her how her day was. Actually, that's still true. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be.

No argument here. I meant 'physically'. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?

I suppose I could part with 'one' and still be feared… She also liked to shut up! My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book 'Earth in the Balance'', and the much more popular ''Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth', we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards. How much did you make me? You're going to do his laundry?

Hey! I'm a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? No, just a regular mistake. But existing is basically all I do!

I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. It's a T. It goes "tuh". No, she'll probably make me do it.

And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Also Zoidberg. But I've never been to the moon!

But existing is basically all I do! We're rescuing ya. Have you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? What kind of a father would I be if I said no?